Last week I asked my boss if I could have the afternoon off on Tuesday because I had a meeting to go to and I wasn't sure how long it was going to last. He said it was allright. Of course, when he did this, he neglected to mention that he was going to Vegas and wouldn't be back in the office until Wednesday (I think).
Why am I writing about this? Because of R's trip to the city of Sin, myself and
I haven't completely decided, but I may not go to the meeting. What meeting you ask? Well, I've been wanting to put in a bid for membership in the Eugene Active 20-30 Club. www.eugene2030.org My dad and mom were both involved in this organization when I was young and this is something I've been looking foward to getting involved in for a long time.
But it seems once again, that my wants get to go on the back burner. Once again, my responsibility to work, to my family, to everyone except me, goes first. I've tried putting myself first and I suck at it. I can't do it. I don't know how to be selfish. And while i know this makes me a better person, it also sucks.
On top of that we had a visit from one of our Bend guys today. He's a nice guy, but definetly some attitude. We call him "Gangsta." But for some reason, everytime he visits, I wind up feeling like a big ugly old warty slob. Even though I'm not. Just his view on women is so....skewed. He was talking about how this person he wants to hire as the inventory person in Bend is ugly...I almost told him that ugly women need/deserve love too. Not that this guy knows the first thing about love. Still. God, men like him make me hate all men. It also doesn't help that I have been fighting myself so that I won't tell the weekend inventory guy where to go.
I can't even write out all the frustration I'm feeling. I feel like it would all come out to sound like a big jumbled up mess. Which really would be an accurate representation of how I am feeling. But it'd probably also make me look psycho.